13 Things Men Wish Women Knew in the Bedroom – Number 7 Will Shock You

Ever wondered what men really want in the bedroom but are too shy to say? Well, you’re in luck! When Reddit user u/No_Taste8493 asked, “Men, what’s one thing you wish women understood better about male sexuality?” close to 10,000 men poured their hearts out. The responses are equal parts eye-opening and unexpectedly sweet. Prepare to be surprised – it’s not just what you’d expect. Here’s what they wish you knew, and trust us, you’ll want to keep reading until the end.

1. “A Lack of Erection Doesn’t Mean a Lack of Interest”

Yes, you read that right. Just because he’s not ready to go at the drop of a hat doesn’t mean he’s not interested. Men can feel pressure, stress, and even performance anxiety – all of which can impact the moment.

“The opposite applies too: an erection does not equal interest or consent,” says u/Kakirax. It’s not about you, it’s about what’s going on in his mind. Let’s get rid of the misconceptions once and for all.

2. They Want to Be Seduced Too

Wait, what? Yes! Men don’t always want to be the ones initiating. Sometimes, they crave being the “pillow princess” – a little spoiled, a little doted on. Think of it as flipping the script.

As u/dadbod9000 puts it, “I want to be seduced. Don’t take for granted that I’m always 100% ready to go at the drop of a hat. Sometimes, I wanna be the pillow princess.” Trust us, it’s way more common than you think.

3. Communication Is Seriously Sexy

Talking openly about desires, boundaries, and turn-ons is a game changer. Men aren’t mind readers, and they don’t want to guess what you like. A direct approach can go a long way.

u/throwsomwthingaway explains, “We like our partners to communicate what they like and don’t. Communication is sexy.” And u/nuu_uut adds, “Little cues and whatnot are not enough; I’m not gonna get it unless you flat-out tell me.” Clear communication in the bedroom is like hitting the jackpot.

4. No One Likes “Transactional” Intimacy

You’ve probably heard of “I’ll do this if you do that” situations. Men? They’re not fans. Sex should never feel like a chore or a reward. They want to feel desired for who they are, not just because it’s the “right time” or something is expected in return.

u/Camburglar13 says, “Don’t use sex as a reward system. I want you to want it because you like it, not as a treat or chore or whatever.” And u/Histidine chimes in, “Flirting with me while I’m doing something and saying I should come find you once I’m done? That is amazing. Telling me if I do task ‘X,’ then we might have sex later makes me feel like you really have no interest in affection.”

5. A Texting Break Doesn’t Mean He’s Lost Interest

Feel like he’s gone silent between texts? He’s not ghosting; he just enjoys saving the conversation for face-to-face time. Men often think that endless chatting can dilute the excitement of catching up in person.

u/LongjumpingMode1605 explains, “If I’m not constantly messaging you, it’s not because I don’t care, it’s that I feel secure about us and want to save any news for some quality time in person.” It’s not about ignoring you—it’s about making those in-person moments even more special. He likes the anticipation.

6. Performance Anxiety Is Real

Imagine this: It’s been a while, and suddenly there’s a ton of pressure to perform. Men feel that too! Sometimes, if it’s been a minute, it might take a little longer to get in the mood.

As u/nosurprises23 says, “As someone with severe performance anxiety, if I haven’t had sex in a while, it can be very hard to get it up. It’s not that I’m not turned on, and it’s not that you’re anything less than gorgeous; it’s just that my anxiety is preventing me from getting an erection at this moment.” Create a space where he feels at ease, and you’ll both enjoy it more.

7. “Intimacy Isn’t Just a Light Switch”

You might think he’s always ready for action, but that’s not always the case. Foreplay is important for him too. Taking time to build intimacy makes the experience way more fulfilling.

u/MaceValor shares, “Not all men are like a light switch and are ready to get right to the action immediately. Intimacy and foreplay are a core part of the experience.” A slower pace can lead to a deeper connection.

8. Sometimes, He Just Wants to Be the Little Spoon

Yes, it’s true. That tough, stoic exterior? It crumbles when you wrap him up in a cuddle. Sometimes, he wants to feel safe and held too.

u/aReelProblem confesses, “I just wanna be a little spoon once in a while. That feels nice.” It’s not about being “manly” all the time – it’s about feeling loved. So, surprise him with a little spoon action every now and then, and see how much he lights up.

9. The Emotional Connection During Intimacy Matters More Than You Think

Here’s a little secret: An orgasm with someone they care about hits differently. Men often find a deeper sense of satisfaction when they feel close to their partner. It’s not just physical; it’s about emotional fulfillment.

As u/yardstick_of_civ puts it, “There’s a huge difference between orgasm as a physical release and an orgasm with someone you are emotionally close to.”

10. Men Have Body Image Issues Too

It’s not just women who feel the pressure to look a certain way. Men grow up seeing action heroes and magazine covers that set unrealistic body standards too. Just like you, they need a reminder that they don’t need a six-pack to be attractive.

u/geoffbowman shares, “The body standards for us were just as unrealistic and unhealthy, and it’s nice to hear that we don’t have to be that to be attractive.” A compliment from you can mean the world to him.

11. Honesty Is the Best Policy in the Bedroom

Don’t pretend to like something just to make him happy. Men want to know what truly makes you feel good – even if it means a little trial and error.

u/friendship-cockring says, “I am trusting when you give me a ‘hell yes, I love that,’ you’re being honest.” Faking enjoyment can actually be hurtful in the long run.

12. “Blue Balls” Isn’t an Excuse for Anything

Let’s set the record straight: “Blue balls” is not a reason to pressure anyone into anything. Sure, it can be uncomfortable, but it’s definitely not a medical emergency.

As u/Mc-Sl3uth-b3rg3r explains, “Blue balls is not a serious condition. Don’t let anyone pressure you into sex, especially with that as an excuse.”

13. And Finally… They Just Want Back Scratches

Who would have thought? Back scratches are the ultimate, unexpected turn-on. There’s something about the feeling of those nails that just drives them wild.

As u/Protomike123 says, “I just want back scratches. You’re only allowed to stay near me because of your nails. I’ll pay for it. But you need to pay the toll. A little to the left. Down. Down. Left. Riiiiiiight there.”

Let’s Be Real: It’s All About Connection

At the end of the day, these secrets all point to one thing: Men want to feel understood, appreciated, and connected with their partners. It’s not just about the physical; it’s about emotional intimacy and feeling truly seen.

Did anything on this list surprise you? Drop your thoughts in the comments below, and don’t forget to share this with a friend who could use a little insight! Let’s keep the conversation going.

There you have it! A list that’s real, raw, and definitely not what you’d expect. Sometimes, it’s the little things that matter most, and this list is proof that understanding each other’s needs can go a long way. Ready to surprise your partner with what you’ve learned? It’s time to put these insights into action!