18 Couples Reveal the Reality of Their Arranged Marriages – And It’s Not Always a Fairy Tale
The truth behind arranged marriages might surprise you, shock you, and even tug at your heartstrings. Read on for unfiltered stories from those who’ve been through it.
1. “We Became Best Friends, and It Surprised Us Both”
Ever thought you’d become best friends with a stranger you were forced to marry? Reddit user u/deviloper47 shares their unexpected experience:
“I had an arranged marriage a decade ago. I’m surprised by the fact that we’re best friends. We argue and fight. And at the end of it, one of us meekly goes over and says something stupid like, ‘Hey, you really sang well in the shower today,’ and we’re back to being friends. Something that only happened when I was in kindergarten, and I just enjoy it.”
Takeaway: Sometimes, humor is the secret ingredient to making a marriage work.
2. “He Was a Total Mama’s Boy”
Imagine being married to someone who can’t make a single decision without their parents. One Reddit user (u/Anonymous) explains:
“He was a mama’s boy! He doesn’t make any decisions regarding our marriage and lives without consulting his parents. He wanted all his work done by me or his mom while he sat on the couch playing games… He used to save all his money or give it to his parents and spend all my money. Every expense was on me!”
She eventually had enough and left. Her advice?
Don’t ignore red flags. If it feels wrong, it probably is.
3. “I Fell in Love After We Got Married”
For some, love comes later. Reddit user u/kyrajane9o3 shares a heartfelt story of how she unexpectedly fell for her husband after the wedding:
“I liked him and respected him before marriage… After living together, I started falling in love with him. It was not some grand gesture or anything I’ve read about or seen in movies. It was the little things that he did. Like, buy me chocolate after I said in passing that I like something in particular, or taking care of me when I’m not well and just being there to listen to me.”
Sometimes, love is in the details.
4. “My Preferences Didn’t Matter”
It’s tough when your family doesn’t consider your wishes. Reddit user u/Anonymous shares the pressure she faced:
“I come from a conservative Southeast Asian family where arranged marriages are common. All my cousins had arranged marriages and seemed happy, so my parents naturally thought that was the route for me. My preferences for height and looks were overlooked because the elders in my family decided these things did not matter in the long run… I was engaged in 10 days and married in three-and-a-half months.”
Her Advice? Don’t ignore those inner doubts – they’re trying to tell you something.
5. “Surviving the First Year”
It’s no secret that the beginning of any marriage can be rocky, but Reddit user u/Consistent-One7511 believes that getting through the first year can set the tone for a lasting relationship:
“The first marriage year is tough. You’re both getting used to each other and each other’s lifestyle, along with parents from both sides. But once you cross your first-year mark successfully without including family members in the fights and discussions, then everything is smooth. Today, we both are inseparable and love each other a lot.”
Takeaway: Avoiding family interference can help your relationship thrive.
6. “We Knew It Was Absurd, But It Worked”
Marrying after one date sounds wild, right? But for Reddit user u/nopenopenopenada, it turned out to be a great decision:
“My husband and I married a month after our first date. We knew how absurd our decision was, yet we knew we had found a compatible partner with the same core values and common interests. Divorce was not an option for either of us (except in a case of abuse or infidelity). When we argue, there is the presumption of a solution. How we get there requires skills like open communication, problem-solving, and compromise.”
Key Insight: Compatibility can matter more than time.
7. “Marriage Is the Biggest Gamble”
Some call it destiny, others call it a gamble. Reddit user u/bitchaari puts it bluntly:
“Marriage is the biggest gamble of your life. It either works or doesn’t. Love or arranged doesn’t matter. I am in an arranged marriage, and it’s amazing. We met and just knew it. We pushed our parents into getting us married sooner rather than later — the best decision of my life. Most of my friends are divorced. One love, one arranged.”
Reality Check: Sometimes, you just have to roll the dice.
8. “I Stayed for the Kids”
Not all stories end happily. Reddit user u/SafeVenom opens up about his struggles:
“Almost five years of arranged marriage here with a 2-year-old kid. I still don’t know if I love her or not. If not, I don’t know if I will ever be able to love her. Sometimes, I think that a love marriage would have been better. I still think I married at the early age of 25 after caving into my parents’ pressure. Some days, I am just a sad and depressed man. On those days, I survive only by thinking about the kid.”
Takeaway: Sometimes, staying together doesn’t mean being happy.
9. “Opposites Can Work If You Try”
Reddit user u/Gujju001 says that even when you seem like opposites, hard work can make a marriage successful:
“Well, I’m coming from an Orthodox Guju family, so my marriage was also a strict arranged marriage… After marriage, I found out we’re both almost opposite in everything. But, what works for both of us is that we tried and gave our best for our marriage, and after nine years, no issues.”
Lesson Learned: It’s not always about being a perfect match; it’s about being willing to work at it.
10. “The Betrayal I Never Expected”
Some stories take a dark turn. After over three decades of marriage, Reddit user u/Anonymous discovered her husband’s double life:
“I had an arranged marriage in 1986… Last year, I found out my ex-husband was cheating on me with a girlfriend the same age as our daughter (36, and he is 61). Then I learned he had been cheating on me for the last 10 years, and he went to India every year and had numerous girlfriends; I was the last person to know.”
What to Remember? Even long relationships can have hidden truths.
11. “Living Away from Family Saved Our Relationship”
Ever feel like your in-laws are just too involved in your relationship? You’re not alone. Reddit user u/DonutAccurate4 explains how moving away from family helped their marriage:
“Though we both have different personalities, we have similarities too. And our senses of humor match. The best thing we did was move out and stay away from our parents. We have the freedom to go out whenever we feel like without the added baggage of informing parents and them getting unhappy about not being invited… Staying apart with occasional visits brings people closer, actually.”
Takeaway: Distance from family can create a stronger bond with your partner.
12. “I Couldn’t Have Chosen Better”
When you think about arranged marriages, you might imagine a lack of choice. But for Reddit user u/bambamfestival, their arranged marriage turned out to be their happily ever after:
“I had an arranged marriage and I’ve never been this happy. I had a few ex-girlfriends, but it would’ve been a big mistake if I had married any of them.”
Lesson? Sometimes, the unexpected choice is the right one.
13. “The Process Was a Nightmare, But It Was Worth It”
The road to finding the right match isn’t always smooth, as Reddit user u/misscryptic_ learned:
“The process wasn’t great. But ultimately, it’s worth the wait. I encountered many different types of guys/families until I found my hubby… He said that no matter how often we meet before the wedding, we will tend to showcase our best behavior. We connected and went with the flow. Also, we fought once before the engagement.”
What She Learned: Be yourself, even if it means risking the relationship before it begins.
14. “We Tried, and It Paid Off”
When opposites attract, it can be a challenge. But Reddit user u/Gujju001 explains how they made their arranged marriage work:
“I’m coming from an Orthodox Guju family, so my marriage was a strict arranged marriage. In fact, I didn’t get a chance to talk before our engagement… But after nine years, no issues. We tried and gave our best for our marriage.”
Insight: Effort and patience can turn even a mismatched pairing into a lasting relationship.
15. “The Betrayal I Never Expected”
After decades of what seemed like a stable marriage, Reddit user u/Anonymous uncovered a shocking secret:
“I had an arranged marriage in 1986… Last year, I found out my ex-husband was cheating on me with a girlfriend the same age as our daughter (36, and he is 61)… I also found out my ex is a multi-millionaire, and we are in the process of divorce.”
Takeaway: Trust isn’t always a given, even in long-term marriages.
16. “Arranged Marriages Have Changed”
Think arranged marriages are a thing of the past? Reddit user u/pushpg shares how modern arranged marriages are different from those in previous generations:
“Nowadays, it’s not blind marriage like it used to be 30-40 years ago. People get time and a chance to talk to future prospects and can call it off at any time if they find themselves incompatible before marriage… The best decision is to get married within the ‘known circle.’”
Insight: Modern arranged marriages offer more choice than you might think.
17. “From a Newspaper Ad to a Love Story”
This one sounds like a plot twist. Reddit user u/Embarrassed-Panic-37 met her husband in a very traditional way – through a newspaper ad – but what followed was anything but old-fashioned:
“I married through an arranged marriage. My parents put an advertisement in the Sunday Observer, and his parents responded… After talking every day on the phone for like two weeks, we finally met up, and what was supposed to be simply a lunch date turned into a whole-day hangout… We fell in love, got married, and are now expecting our first child.”
Takeaway: Love can come from the most unexpected beginnings.
18. “Staying for the Sake of Family Can Be a Trap”
When family expectations collide with personal happiness, it can be a struggle. Reddit user u/lost-in-life-555 gives a brutally honest take on the pressure of arranged marriages:
“I’m in an arranged marriage, and trust me, it’s not what you think. Every single relationship, including marriage, has its ups and downs, but arranged marriages are a pain because you stay in this even if you don’t want to because of what it’ll do to your family’s image… Having kids with your partner in a marriage just because of pressure will not make the relationship better. It’ll only make it worse.”
Final Advice: Don’t stay in an unhappy situation just to protect someone else’s reputation.
So, What’s the Verdict on Arranged Marriages?
Arranged marriages are a mixed bag – a complex tapestry of love, compromise, family pressure, and sometimes, heartbreak. Some stories will warm your heart, others might break it. But one thing is certain: every experience is unique. What works for one couple may not work for another, and sometimes, the most unexpected matches can turn into the happiest relationships.
Your Turn! What’s your take on arranged marriages? Have your own story to share? Drop it in the comments below – we’d love to hear from you!