How This Couple Redefined Intimacy After Paralysis: The 10 Most Eye-Opening Things You Didn’t Know About Sex and Disability
Ever wondered how couples manage intimacy when facing life-altering challenges? Meet Amber Cogbill and Neven Hart, a young couple from Southern California whose love story has captivated millions. When Neven was left paralyzed from the chest down after a dirt bike accident, they didn’t just fight through the physical challenges—they turned their journey into one of the internet’s most candid and educational discussions about intimacy. And yes, they’ve answered the question you’re probably too shy to ask. Their viral TikTok videos have amassed over 30 million views, shedding light on the reality of intimacy after a spinal cord injury.
Ready to learn what everyone’s talking about? Here’s everything you didn’t know about intimacy, love, and adapting to life after paralysis—straight from the couple themselves.
1. Neven’s Journey: From Tragedy to Triumph
Imagine waking up and realizing you can’t move or feel anything from the chest down. That’s exactly what happened to Neven. A dirt bike accident left him paralyzed from his T6 vertebrae, changing his life forever. The worst part? No one even saw the accident happen.
“We don’t know exactly how he crashed because he knocked himself out,” Amber explained. It was a brutal reality to face, but the couple chose to tackle it head-on. And now, they’re sharing their story so others know that life—and love—goes on.
2. Yes, They Still Have Sex (And Here’s How)
Curious about how intimacy works when one partner is paralyzed? You’re not alone. It was one of the first questions Amber and Neven had, too. After endless searching with little to no answers, they decided to be the voice they wished they’d found.
Neven uses a medication called Trimix, injected directly into the base of his penis, to help him achieve an erection. Within five minutes, he’s good to go—and that’s just the beginning. The couple’s openness about using medical aids has made their videos a must-watch for anyone wanting to understand the practicalities of love after injury.
3. It’s Expensive to Stay Intimate
Here’s something you might not expect: The cost of intimacy can be sky-high for couples like Amber and Neven. Two vials of Trimix cost around $140, and it’s not covered by insurance. For a lot of couples, this can be a huge financial burden.
“We’ve learned to budget for our sex life, which sounds crazy, but it’s true,” Amber shared. Their honesty about this often-overlooked aspect has helped others feel less alone in their struggles.
4. Adaptation Is Key: New Positions, New Perspectives
Think Neven just lies back and lets Amber do all the work? Think again. He might be paralyzed from the chest down, but he’s far from a pillow princess. The couple has had to get creative with their positions, using techniques from physical therapy to keep things fun and exciting.
They also use a specially designed chair called the Intimate Rider. This piece of adaptive equipment, which costs over $500, has been a game-changer for them. It’s a chair that moves with the slight shift of Neven’s head—allowing for more flexibility and connection during intimacy. And yes, it’s another expense that insurance doesn’t cover, but they insist it’s worth every penny.
5. Overcoming Emotional Barriers: “He Can’t Feel It”
For Amber, one of the toughest challenges was accepting that Neven couldn’t feel the physical sensations of sex the way he used to. “It was really hard for me at first. I felt like I wasn’t able to please him anymore like I used to before the accident,” she admitted.
But intimacy isn’t just about physical sensations—it’s about connection. And Amber and Neven have found new ways to share that closeness. They’ve discovered that love, laughter, and communication matter more than any physical feeling ever could.
6. Practice Makes Perfect
Neven describes their first few attempts at intimacy post-accident like being a virgin all over again. Things don’t always go smoothly, and that’s okay. “With time, you learn what works and what doesn’t,” he said. Their advice? Don’t be afraid to laugh at the awkward moments and keep experimenting.
7. Breaking Down Stigma with Every Post
The couple’s openness on social media has done more than just satisfy people’s curiosity—it’s challenged the stigma around disability and sexuality. “We get comments all the time from people who had no idea this was possible,” Amber said.
They’ve even heard from parents of kids with disabilities, thanking them for shedding light on a topic that’s often ignored. Their content is more than just informative—it’s giving people hope.
8. It’s Not All About Sex: Rediscovering Intimacy
For Amber and Neven, intimacy is about more than just what happens in the bedroom. They’ve had to redefine their entire relationship, learning to appreciate the small things—like cuddling or just being together. “Going through a traumatic injury like this teaches you to appreciate the small things,” Amber said. It’s about feeling close, even without physical touch.
9. The Internet Can’t Get Enough
With over 30 million views on their videos, Amber and Neven have become internet-famous. But it’s not just their story that resonates—it’s their genuine, unfiltered approach to answering the questions everyone’s too afraid to ask.
Their vulnerability has sparked conversations that were long overdue, proving that there’s a thirst for honest discussions around topics like this.
10. Their Biggest Lesson? Love Conquers All
When asked what advice they’d give to others going through a similar experience, Neven said, “Never stop communicating. You have to be willing to talk about everything, even the awkward stuff.”
Amber added, “We were best friends before the accident, and we’re even closer now. We never miss the chance to say ‘I love you,’ because we know how quickly life can change.”
Why This Matters to Everyone—Including You
If there’s one thing Amber and Neven’s story teaches us, it’s that love doesn’t have to end when life throws you a curveball. Their journey is a reminder that intimacy is about more than just physical connection—it’s about trust, communication, and being willing to adapt.
So, what’s the big takeaway here? Life might look different after a traumatic injury, but that doesn’t mean it’s over. It’s just the beginning of a new kind of adventure—one where love, determination, and creativity can change everything.
Over to You!
Have you ever faced a challenge that changed the way you think about relationships? Share your thoughts in the comments below! And if you found this story inspiring, don’t forget to share it with someone who needs a little hope today.